Embrace the true you, even if it's weird to hug yourself in public.

My identity has been stolen so many times, I lost count. I could be like poster child for ID theft at this point. Why is my identity so attractive to people? I have about $5.78 in my checking account. All these years of battling questionable identity, and my husband finally spelled it out for me: "You're the love child of Erma Bombeck and Jack Handey." Thank you! Finally, my identity nailed down flat. Try cashing that in at the bank, future felons!